Checking his suitability

Why does your wife seem annoyed when you want her to decide which movie to see?

Micromanagement works for me

Unlike many Taken In Hand wives, Mil positively loves to be micromanaged. If you've never understood the appeal, this post might be enlightening.

Taken In Hand relieves tension and increases goodwill

In a perfect world, no one would get angry or bear grudges and any problems arising would be solved instantly, but in the real world, in real relationships, life is not always quite so perfect, and spouses sometimes make mistakes. The Taken In Hand idea doesn't just take this into account, it provides a brilliant – not to mention exciting – solution to the problems and tensions of real life in real relationships.

Alpha male in life clueless in love

Sometimes what she wants is for you to think a lot more about what you yourself want instead of endlessly worrying about what she wants.

Reluctant men

Why are so many men so reluctant? Nartie has some ideas.

How I overcame my obsessive-compulsive disorder

Contrary to what many believe, control in a relationship can be genuinely useful and good. For individuals with this inclination it has the power to solve real, intractable problems and even to treat or diminish the symptoms of OCD, BPD etc that make life so miserable otherwise. This, of course, goes against everything social workers have been taught, but the facts speak for themselves.

Taken to the wire

Narti on how she stepped away from fantasy and into her wonderful real life.

My Fate is Decided Tommorrow... Gentleman, counsel please....

Urgent advice sought.

How do I get my MOJO back

We all screw up on occasion.

Surviving a military deployment

How one wife is managing in this difficult situation

It happened one night: a movie review

A reader recommends this film to all Taken In Hand inclined folk. Have you seen it? What do you think?

Viva Feminism, Viva Masculinism!

Taken In Hand is about increasing individuals' choices, not forcing everyone into one particular kind of relationship. InSpirit argues that this is also true of feminism, though the heavy pressure to live a certain kind of life (one in which you put your children in daycare and go out to work whether you want to or not (if you're a woman)), do a certain amount of housework (not more than your husband does), and be the boss in your relationship (if you're a woman) comes from those calling themselves feminists as opposed to individuals not identifying with that idea. There are, however, plenty of feminists on Taken In Hand who take InSpirit's mature, sensible line, and that is good to see.

Advice on how to start a Taken In Hand relationship

JJ on how she and her husband really got started.

What I Can Give In Return

Husbands have needs too.

The Five Love Languages, by Gary Chapman: a review

Nartie likes this book.

He was horrified but now he is very happy

How things have changed!

Change is a two way street

Nartie on how she came to understand that she too needed to change, not just her husband.

Passionate conquest

Jacob prefers another name for that intense kind of interaction that looks like rape except in its most important respect – that it is deeply consentual – the wife wholeheartedly wants it.

Hoping for a happy marriage?

What makes a happy marriage?

Recognition

Hikitty's account of her first meeting with her take-charge husband.

Be patient!

Nartie's honest and human piece is not to be missed.

Embracing each other's darkest secrets

Don't miss this fascinating and beautifully written article. After nearly 18 years of marriage, Melman and his wife are experimenting with a Taken in Hand relationship.

The man needs to be the pursuer

Sonja had some good advice for women (and men!) seeking a Taken In Hand relationship.

Loving the missionary position may be your first clue

Elly says that loving the missionary position and not feeling demeaned by it was her first inkling that she might enjoy this kind of relationship.

Two years and counting

How one man brought his initially-reluctant wife happily to a heavenly Taken In Hand relationship.

Taken In Hand works best when it is organic

Noone on rules.

Why do some rules work but not others?

Louise draws a helpful distinction between formal lists of rules and enforcement measures instigated by the wife (which tend not to work well in many Taken In Hand marriages) and rules that the husband naturally makes over time as issues arise.

How long does it take to adjust to Taken In Hand?

Mia has some excellent suggestions for those starting out.

A good use of force

Marie M on how being taken stopped her feeling bad and reconnected her and her husband in a powerfully positive way.

Learning from the British army ethos

Abdiel has some fantastic advice for husbands and those men contemplating marriage.

A man who is in control - of himself

Pericles on what makes Taken In Hand work for her.

Taken In Hand for the fatally flawed

In this touching article, Louise points out that you do not need to be a paragon of all known virtues for Taken In Hand to work for you. In part, Taken In Hand is, indeed, a way of positively solving problems created by our many flaws.

What Taken In Hand requires of you as a husband

Noone points out that Taken In Hand is deceptively simple.

Advice for husbands beginning to take charge in their marriage

Ezekiel has some fabulous advice for husbands in Taken In Hand marriages.

Taken In Hand as opposed to completely docile

The Taken In Hand relationship is one in which, to the delight of both spouses, the husband actively controls (takes in hand) his wife, who may be a bit of a handful (as opposed to submissive/docile).

How to avoid making your life with your wife a living hell

Noone urges men not to ignore the clues that a woman might want to be firmly controlled by her loving husband.

What if he is horrified by the idea?

Most men, including even the most take-charge, react badly when they first hear about the idea of Taken In Hand. The deeply consensual nature of the Taken In Hand relationship is not immediately obvious, and Taken In Hand appears so antithetical to everything good people believe in. The good news is that in many cases the relationship happily evolves into a Taken In Hand one anyway, despite the man's initial horror at the idea of being actually in control in the relationship. This article is a charming account of one such case.

Can you protect her, cherish her and handle her?

Noone points out that Taken In Hand inclined women want men to win.

Choice Theory saved my marriage

If you know more about Choice Theory than Taken In Hand, you might think that the two are incompatible, but in fact they are very compatible, as Shelly41 indicates.

Control yourself and keep your legs closed!

One reader's amazing journey to what sounds like a wonderful Taken In Hand marriage.

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